Windsor Beggars Can Borrow – at a Price
In a heartwarming display of municipal generosity, or perhaps a cunning act of financial jujitsu, Tecumseh Mayor Gary McNamara announced a loan program for the housing cash starved City of Windsor. Yes, you read that right. Tecumseh, a town whose claim to fame is possibly the world’s largest corn cob (don’t quote us on that), is offering its neighbour a financial lifeline.
But hold your horses, Windsorites! This loan comes with strings tighter than a politician’s promises. The interest rate? A cool 1 point above prime, which translates to “enough to make a grown man cry” in layman’s terms.
“We won’t be using that money for 12 to 18 months” said Mayor McNamara. “I decided that it would be good to put it to work in the meantime, while holding out an olive branch to our municipal neighbours”.
The mastermind behind this scheme isn’t actually Mayor McNamara, but rather the ever-astute Windsor-Tecumseh MP, Irek Kusmierczyk (remember that name, it’s the only one that matters). Apparently, Mr. Kusmierczyk, in a moment of unparalleled financial brilliance, decided that charity wasn’t quite his style.
“We in Ottawa believe in tough love,” said Mr. Kusmierczyk, with a straight face. “We’re offering Windsor a chance to get back on its feet, but let’s be honest, they’ve been shooting themselves in the foot for years. This loan is a chance for them to learn some housing realities…at a small premium.”
Local economists are baffled. “It’s unheard of,” one bewildered analyst stammered. “A smaller municipality loaning money to a larger one, especially at an interest rate that would make loan sharks blush?”
Windsor officials, meanwhile, are speechless. Probably because they’re busy calculating how to install toll booths on the E.C Row Expressway to make the first payment.
So, there you have it. A tale of two cities, one with an outsized corn cob and a penchant for profit, the other drowning in regret. One thing’s for sure, folks: this is a loan Windsor won’t soon forget.
It’s not news… but it’s relevant.