The World’s Largest Ball of Twine (Maybe)
The energetic city of Windsor, Ontario, is proud to announce its latest landmark – a monument so awe-inspiring, so utterly bizarre, that it’s sure to leave visitors scratching their heads in befuddlement: The “Windsor Wonder,” a giant ball of twine!
Standing resolute (and slightly lopsided) at the foot of the newly renovated City Hall Esplanade, the Windsor Wonder will boast a staggering (well, debatable) weight of several thousand pounds. Comprised of recycled household twine – a testament to Windsor’s commitment to both sustainability and mild hoarding – the Wonder is sure to become a must-see attraction for tourists with a penchant for the peculiar.
“We wanted to create something truly unique,” beamed Mayor Drew Dilkens at the unveiling ceremony for the concept. “Something that captures the essence of Windsor – our resilience, our resourcefulness, and our… well, our ability to generate a lot of used twine, apparently. The real beauty of this idea is that we won’t have to create a $2 million dollar structure to house it, it’s all natural.”
Local officials are tight-lipped on exactly how much this civic marvel will cost, but whispers suggest it falls somewhere between “a small fortune” and “enough to pave a few of those pesky potholes” (a chronic issue Windsor seems determined to ignore).
Undeterred by the hefty price tag, the city council is confident the Wonder will be a tourist magnet. “Imagine the Instagram possibilities!” gushed Councilor Jo-Ann Gignac. “Selfies with the Wonder will be all the rage. It’ll be like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but with more, well, twine.”
Tourism officials, however, are taking a wait-and-see approach. “We’re all for quirky attractions,” admitted a spokesperson for Tourism Windsor. “But a giant ball of twine? We’re not sure that screams ‘world-class destination’ just yet. We’re still testing related activities, like the Twine Bungee Jump, but have run into some difficulties”.
Undeterred, the citizens of Windsor are embracing their new landmark with a mix of amusement and resignation. “It’s not the Eiffel Tower,” shrugged local resident Mildred Threadbare, “but hey, at least it’s something to talk about besides the potholes.”
So, the next time you find yourself in Windsor, be sure to check out the Windsor Wonder. It may not be the most glamorous attraction, but it’s guaranteed to provide a good chuckle – and maybe even a renewed appreciation for your own, slightly less-twine-centric, possessions.
It’s not news… but it’s relevant.
